The term ‘Sad Genius’ has been in my life since I started creating, yet I never truly understood its meaning until I was one. In 2014 I became exposed to many walks of life that were either on the journey to being successful or were already successful. Many people who are now my peers and friends but then were just people I admired for their hard work which included accomplishing all they set their mind to making me only want more for myself but as I was doing so, it was never enough for me. I had already accomplished some of my biggest dreams but knowing how possible and obtainable things where it had made me constantly strive for more which eventually came hand in hand with never being content.
No matter what I was still creating, and doing all that I could showing how capable I truly was but eventually it became expected of me. The pressure from myself was already overwhelming. Each moment counted, and I made sure of it. Everything I was striving for was happening all too fast. To the point where I didn’t have time to appreciate or enjoy it until my friends pointed it out and how people would speak of me. I remember at one point my friend, a creative mentioned “Zayna can have it all and still be a Sad Genius” and it stuck. I was too busy constantly wanting more and on this on-going chase I never realized how bittersweet it was. I was making it unhealthy when it was supposed to work as a blessing. I’ve done a lot in the past 3 years based on that mindset. I own up to the term ‘Sad Genius’ and take pride in it, because that is to thank for my hard work and most of my accomplishments.
I now find peace in that, I’ve grown to find happiness in the process of success and finding it. I’ve grown to be okay with the overwhelming feeling. There’s a time for all my ideas to take place, there’s a time for my growth and advances to show and when it is that time I will flourish because for now I will no longer rush any of it. At this point in my life I have found the success I’ve longed for since day 1 and I have the patience to watch it all unfold. Going forward, I know my purpose and I will fulfill it. As a ‘Sad Genius’ I’ve discovered that being one in a weird, progressive way is an accomplishment, but I now prefer to be a happy genius.