Why me? Why you? Why Them? Why Us? Well, why not? No one is exempt from the evils that the world persuades us to fall into, but we can evade our ignorance of why we shouldn’t invade the pain and take more steps into the developing of suffering. I touched on this briefly in a previous article and I wanted to build more on the idea of understanding pain and suffering, rather than simply praying for it to disperse into thin air — before resolution comes into play. Lack of understanding can create pain and suffering. Often times, we seek for pain to disappear before lessons are learned and self-improvement is sought. Unfortunate, the experience is, but so graced we are to reflect and gain from the adversity; hellish yet developmental time.
Lessons are provided to lessen further damage — less on your future pain and suffering. Perception is everything. We don’t have to see pain in the negative sphere that it’s been popularized through — go through, in order to grow through; that’s life. “In order” shows up often in my writing and there’s a subconscious reason. Order, process, proper shifts: the makings of a situation that can help you become stronger; endurance for life stretches beyond belief.
“As you are, so is your world. Everything in the universe is resolved into your own inward experience.” — James Allen
What’s happening in the world, is happening — there’s no altering I can do to certain wonders of this earth. As Kendrick Lamar says, “what happens on earth, stays on earth,” but what happens on earth, does not need to remain a pessimistic shock in my mind. Daily and deliberate practice of focusing on internal conflict can alter how I react to external conflict. Just like anything else I want to improve with, practice is my best bet.
During 2011–2013, the years where I went through my depression, I didn’t deem my worries or complications as “worthy.” There’s a process for processing your own pain. Here’s the key words, your.own.pain. By attempting to process my pain by comparison of others own troubles, I ended up neglecting my own pain and not finding the root cause. Instead, this was merely a distraction to own troubles. I remember going through a rough patch of time in March of this year and talking to my friend, and his worries didn’t compare to mine, at least I thought they didn’t. As we all breathe on this earth, we only know 100% what we go through, as individuals. I don’t know what it’s like to be you, but I know what it’s like to be me. This is a lesson I would’ve never learned if I didn’t go through my trials and tribulations.
“Trials and tribulations make you stronger, live longer,” comes from Outkast’s 2000 track “Humble Mumble.” Traumatizing experiences can go either good or bad, perhaps land somewhere in between—it depends on who you are; stress or growth? Which end of the rope have you or will you grab? Post Traumatic Growth (PTG) is presented in five different breakdowns: optimism for new opportunities, relationship changes with others, realizing your own strength, more appreciation for life and spiritual gain.
I’ve experienced all five breakdowns and they have become my favorite developments in my life, thus far. Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) could have possibly been my route, but my path chose growth instead. I feed off of pain, but I do not ask for it. Rejection, lack of money/resources and lacking mental stamina, losing people I love helped me grow. “It was the worst of times, it was the best of times,” as Charles Dickens put it. I didn’t know who I truly was until I felt it all fall apart. My falling apart is my own experience. Remember: comparing pain doesn’t help the healing process. Remember: there’s growth outside of the tribulations. I’m aware that everyone’s situation varies, but I do pray for a stronger you when you’ve come to tiresome crossroads.