“I never wanted to do what everyone around me was doing, I was always to myself and because I was the quiet kid, I feel like no one has ever really seen me be comfortable in a sense, or shine, until now.” — Saba
Since a youngin’, I wanted to do multiple things: President of the United States, an artist, writer, skateboarder, store manager, chef, etc. my multifaceted ways wouldn’t allow to be just one dimension; I aimed to be all I could be — renaissance in my own direction — aiming to be all I can be. There are orthodox methods by which you can travel to reach these hobbies and turn them into profitable habits. But wait, that outlines the issue at hand: do you wish for these hobbies to remain as they are, or is there a career path you’d like to take with your hobbies.
My goal became apparent to me in 2013. I look (still do) to take my hobby of writing to a horizon that rises and rightfully carves the marks I intend to leave on this earth. While I’m here, on earth, this is what I wish to contribute. However, the route I chose to take has been unconventional and does prove to be difficult, but ultimately, it’s all worth it.
You’re either going to be pushed to the edge – to being who you’re meant to be—by desperation or inspiration; I’ve taken the whole being pushed to the edge theory from Dennis Merritt Jones. Unconventional travels down a path can be scary. It’s original (in most cases) and the lack of security in doing so, doesn’t present a strong presence. However, we feel as though this is the route we must take. We all have a choice.
I was introduced to Saba’s music by a tweet that Chance The Rapper sent out. Being from Chicago, he shared Saba’s Comfort Zone mixtape. I gave it a chance and instantly fell in love with the first track, properly titled “Time Zone.”
“All these ni**a’s know, since a shorty, I’ve been showing how I’m different”
Saba chops and screws his voice at the beginning of the track. More so, the chorus was impressive, saying: “Who do you wanna be like? Who do you picture me like? What will I be when I grow up? Cause I never wanted to be like them.”
At this point in my life, I know how, when and where to make the money I need and want to survive on my own, in this life, in this world, we consider home. I’m happy to see the comings of my friends and family members and how they made a living. However, I’m simply not trying to make a living, I’m trying to create a life worth living and also share my talents with the world. So why we here for? Here for much more than a pay check. I’ve always checked my pay and have sensed emptiness. There’s more than just surviving and reaching for survival. Mentally, I’m nomadic and my mind is never settled within a setting. I may have slowed down my physical travels through states, but my mind travels at a speed that is sometimes too much to bare and I’m on a mission to see it all through; with or without the support of family.
When people (whether it be friends, family, or strangers) offer sentiments or advice to me, I hear them out. But that doesn’t mean I have to do exactly what they say, but I do take it into consideration. I always had people in my ear telling me to go to college. That’s all fine and dandy but I wouldn’t tell anyone to go somewhere for an extended amount of time without knowing what their intentions and goals were — for the moments that follow the extended time.
I’ll never forget the conversation I had fresh out of high school with my sister. “But how are you going to get there?,” my sister asked of reaching my goals. To be honest, she was right. To be honest, she was wrong. Conventional — in that sense, she laid out the truth, but I had another plan: I laid out the blueprint for how I would achieve my goals. There’s no doubt that my unconventional path may prove to be difficult, but it’s so worth it and still is. Circumstances plays a role, but that’s not enough to stop me.
So what are you? What have you chosen to be? As this is being typed, I’ve officially made the decision to deviate from the normality that has hindered my progression and what I intuitively feel is my route.
Be like them? I’d prefer to die below the rim of this community realm — shooting my shot at goals, there’s no control of the arrow I use by arrangements from my bow. I bow before the presence of independent mindsets that present presents of gifted notions. They question “why don’t you?” and I answer “why don’t I?” with sincere emotions. And when it’s all said and done be sure you quote and remember the person who wrote this. Stay focused.