Reflection: stop and appreciate your journey

sculpture: Kevin Atherton

I’ve spent the last five years attempting to carve a direction with my creativity, a specific yet unspecific direction. There was no telling where my intuitive compass chose to lead me, but following the feeling made sense, of course. Many failed attempts, many successes, many setbacks. I’m still not where I “feel” I need to be, but as I reflect, who am I not to be grateful? How could I not show gratitude? Reflection time it is.

Vocal, I can be, yet, there stood an impermanent stain that I couldn’t wipe away. Smudged, I turn to writing to permanently let my words swing for the fences, forever; immortal I now became.

I personally want to thank any and everyone who’s helped me along this journey. It still continues. Thank you to any and everyone who’s shown love to the work I’ve produced, it doesn’t go unnoticed and I’ll continue to keep focus on my locomotive of motives.

As I sit on the floor of my bedroom and plot on how to get the fuck up out my 9–5 situation, it’s only right that I stop and show appreciation for the moment in front of me. I’m more than grateful to share parts of me that shape who am I as a person. I’m a multifaceted person, so there are angles that many do not see, nor do they understand, yet I don’t care anymore. There was a place in time when I did. Now there’s a space in my mind that I rid; only focusing on what’s in front of me for the moment. Becoming mindful of all the progress that’s been made within a process.

This moment brings me back to the words J. Cole spoke to Wale. “You too blind to see you got fans?,” he questioned. Depth not width: cover the grounds that are already beneath your feet before you walk the path of the unknown and unappreciative widths of life. Frustrating (to say the least) for someone not to see your vision, but hey, like my friend said the other day: “learned at a young age that no one is obligated to understand you or want to try to.” There’s no obligations whatsoever in this lifetime, but during your time with this life, cover the grounds that you have before you. Unfortunately, we can’t choose the lens that others use for sight.

It is painful for people to not recognize your talents and worth. Believe me, I know. Through physical and digital interaction, I run into people who I feel (damn near know) deserve much more than what they have been given. There are a number of factors that contribute to why their breakthrough time has flourished yet, but in due time, all shall come to the light when the time is right. For the crowd in the back, divinity. For now, the time in front of us, take a look at your progress. You’ve come a long way. Continue to push, but let’s not forget that this journey hasn’t been easy.

I felt ashamed to have ever complained about my lack of gear
And thought about how far we done came
 – J. Cole

I have a destination in mind, but there’s no guarantee that I’ll reach it. I am doing my best, but it’s important that I remember the steps along the way. It’s vital that I enjoy the moments along the way.

For the musician who wants to be heard, to the painter who wants their work to be viewed. Actually, to the beauticians who just want to paint the world of beauty differently, to the great friend that just wants reciprocation, do not fret, for time has an interesting way of working itself out. Divinity of nature and all things around it.

I faced the mirror and my God, life never felt clearer. In that instant, I resented my past ways. My past days were filled with sights for a destination. Lord forgive me for the days I didn’t hold any preparation, for if the moment I so badly craved to own and hone in on — surfaced, I wouldn’t be able to do myself or anyone justice and/or with a purpose.

Bring about reflection. Pause and just appreciate what is now, the present moment—a time that you’ll never get back. The reality of it all is, you may be heedless to the fact that it can end in an instant. For instance, my dad told me a story: a father was sitting at the dinner table with his family, having dinner. No more than five minutes later, after leaving the table, he collapsed and that would the end of his journey, here on earth.

I’m not inferring that death has to be the level of extreme causes for appreciation to take place, but just think how quickly life can shift us.