Don’t Forget About ‘Stoney’

Stoney

I don’t allow Post Malone slander on my TL. Whenever it pops up, I hit the unfollow button quicker than Allen Iverson in a sidestep. There is no way in hell anybody can tell me that “White Iverson” wasn’t their favorite song for a period of time in 2015-16. I won’t believe you.

So I find it disrespectful that so many people are forgetting that his debut album, Stoney, will ALSO be hitting our eardrums this month. December is stacked with huge hip-hop releases, and Post is damn near right up at the top with those. Let’s take a minute to look at the tracklist, shall we?

1. “Broken Whiskey Glass”
2. “Big Lie”
3. “Deja Vu” (Feat. Justin Bieber)
4. “No Option”
5. “Cold”
6. “White Iverson”
7. “I Fall Apart”
8. “Patient”
9. “Go Flex”
10. “Feel” (Feat. Kehlani)
11. “Too Young”
12. “Congratulations” (Feat. Quavo)
13. “Up There”
14. “Yours Truly, Austin Post”

Deluxe Edition:

15. “Leave”
16. “Hit This Hard”
17. “Money Made Me Do It” (Feat. 2 Chainz)
18. “Feeling Whitney”

First of all, I want to point out that the man isn’t even pushing his titan hit, “White Iverson”, into deluxe territory. YOU GET IT ON THE STANDARD VERSION! A lot of top tier rappers *cough cough Drake* will push songs that charted long before the album release on to the deluxe version only. I didn’t buy Nothing Was the Same for the sole reason that “All Me” wasn’t on the standard version, and I didn’t and still don’t like Drake enough to buy a deluxe album from him. So give Post some love for being so sweet!

Bieber Post

Second, the man has Justin Bieber on his album. All you white girls should eat that up! And guess what, that song actually bangs. I cried laughing when I saw Post choking Bieber, but they’re friends now which is super tight and the fact that they put some gold on wax together is awesome. I personally think “Deja Vu” is a MUCH better cha-cha track then “Hotline Bling“. Keep scrolling, oh look, Quavo and 2 Chainz? Two certified bangers. Check that off the list. And how much you want to bet “Feel” with Kehlani will make you cry? I’d put money on it.

Also, if you aren’t excited for Stoney, I demand you go listen to August 26th now. The mixtape, which is titled after the original release date for Stoney, is stacked with hits featuring 2 Chainz, Jaden Smith, Lil Yachty and Jeremih. “Git Wit U” is a sleezy sex banger that’ll have you craving the night life at 8am. “40 Funk” is just as wavy and jubilent as “White Iverson”, if not more suited for today’s pop charts. Imagine the crossover appeal! And can you think of another young rapper who so flawlessly sampled Fleetwood Mac? No, you can’t, because Post killed it with “Hollywood Dreams/Come Down“, a haunting double-sided track that highlights the ups-and-downs of fame and the life it entails.

Yes, J. Cole, Childish Gambino and Drake are all huge artists that we all love and will kill it very early in this final month of 2016. But don’t forget the young talent too, and Post Malone stands to be one of the huge names as we move into 2017. So do yourself a favor, pre-order Stoney, and add him to your “OH MY GOD DECEMBER IS GONNA BE SO LIT WITH THIS MUSIC” lists.